SADNESS & HOPE
As many of you know or have figured out by now, I have not been continuing to write this book for quite some time. Several reasons for this but the main one is I no longer have any real contact with Mustafa.
Hard to explain, but that is the way it is.
Misunderstandings arise, but I guess I did something or other (what I have never figured out) and kaboom.
Lest there be any misundertanding about this,
let me be clear.
Mustafa Kazemi IS one of the most remarkable human beings I have ever had the privilege to know and I do as I always have...enormous respect and admiration.
Mustafa's bravery is absolutely astounding.
He is INTENSE, PASSIONATE, and committed to making his world a better place.
He cares deeply and I admire that more than words could ever say. However I think that perhaps constant glowing praise of him, while deserved, was misunderstood. I cared for him, cared deeply, and I guess I loved him BUT. I was not IN love with him. Ever.
At the end, it got really confusing and to this day I still don't understand what happened.
What I do know is, nothing I ever said about Mustafa nor anything I felt about him was either misplaced or wrong.
He is a flawed human being, no doubt,
but then...who isn't?
I had said this summer that I had hoped by sometime in the fall I would be able to start back writing on this novel. So far I haven't been able to.
Nor obviously am I able to continue on Tender Warrior which is the book I REALLY wanted to write.
Non-fiction and a chronicle of Mustafa's life and a clear in-depth look into this most fascinating human being.
I still worry daily about him, care abut what happens to him, but am powerless to do anything but sit idly by and pray good things happen to him.
I would give almost anything for that not to be the case, but as they say it takes two to tango...
and he sent the band home.
SO, I sit at the back of the dance hall and hear the music in my head,
but my feet refuse to dance because their inspiration no longer cares.
Maybe one day, I can pick this up again...but maybe in truth the wounds are too fresh and too deep.
Stay safe, Mustafa. Stay safe...and know there is someone out here who deeply cares about you and prays for your safety.
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